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| TEN BASIC RULES FOR BEING A PLAYER Some of the most important things to follow are the Ten Basic Rules of Being a Player. Notorious Big had is 10 Crack Commandments, well here are my 10 Basic Rules or 10 Ass-Crack Commandments. To ignore any of these can pretty much spell disaster. So follow them without question for these are the foundation and starting point to a transformation into a Player. These rules are designed to keep things running smoothly and in order. Follow these rules first and foremost to avoid any added drama and discomfort on your search for the woman or women of your dreams. There are many things that can and will go wrong but hopefully with an understanding of these rules you will have an easier time. I can't stress it enough. Rule#1: No Home Info Policy. Don't ever give them the whereabouts of where you live or your home phone number. This will only allow them to call repeatedly and show up unannounced. Remember most cell phones have a vibrate mode and it's your personal phone. Home phones could be picked up by anyone in your house. The last thing you need is a deranged ex one night stand coming to your house while your mother is over telling you about somebody's broken hip in the family. I can recall one instance of woman's shoes being thrown at my door at 3am. Rule#2: Never Say "I Love You" Policy. Don't say I love you unless they are ready to break something of yours or they are going to press charges. Save that for the day you are to be married. Too many times does some sap lose his head in bed and blurt the words out without thinking of the consequences. They become so amazed they are getting laid they damn near give their pin number to their ATM away much less say I love you. Those words tend to trigger the psycho bitch receptor in the women's brain. Those three little words will alter your universe with them and set things in stone that you are together for life, whether it be your or hers. So if you must say three letters in unison then just say, You da bomb! Rule#3: Busy Body Policy. If you are always busy it is expected for you to be late or not pick up the phone. If you are jobless and clueless you have no excuse. You won't be able to explain to a woman why you are late if all you had to do that day was go to the post office and shave your neck hair. But if you tell her that you have to get groceries, pick up dry cleaning, and then give blood, she won't question too much. But try and bring up things that she won't want to do or can't do with you. That way the day is yours until you get around to her. Rule#4: Hide Out Not Eat Out Policy: Avoid public places with the girl as much as possible. The failure of following this rule is the main reason Players fall. There are too many people in the world to assume that you won't be seen out in public by some friend of someone that knows someone that knows your chick. So refuse to go anywhere busy such as the mall and grocery store with your current fling, because bad news always travels faster than good news. Remember the old adage, there are 3 fast ways to get information; telegraph, telephone, and tell a woman. Rule#5: No Big Holiday Policy: If you are juggling bitches, make sure that you are not committed to having Christmas with one of them. Best thing to do is break up with them before Thanksgiving; it will at least give you one thing to be thankful for. You won't be able to go do Christmas with one girl without triggering the other girl. Just break up for the Holidays. It will save you money, stress, and probably the little package you didn't think about putting under the tree (your penis). Besides you'll probably be able to get them back before New Years most likely. Either that or your New Years resolution will be to rent porn for a while. Rule#6: Deny All Policy. If you are accused of something deny it. Just always deny it. Girls like hard evidence. They want pictures, witnesses, footprint casts, and cell phone call records. They like to build an FBI style case but they always prefer a confession, if you give one that's when you really are screwed. Just deny all. Was that you in bed with her friend as she walked in? Nope, you were just taking a nude nap and that bitch broke in and you woke up like that. Just deny all! Rule#7: No Parking Policy. Don't park your car anywhere it is in the wide open. Avoid main streets and roads. I am sure your girl friend will recognize your Garfield suction cup window attachment and your 2X4 rear bumper anywhere. Pull into driveways or park a street or two away. Besides I'm sure she has at least an idea of your license plate number, if not the whole thing memorized. Rule#8: No Paper trails. Don't keep pictures of other girls, phone numbers, house directions or anything of a sort around. Women will go through your stuff like a gerbil in an ass pipe. Don't leave anything out in the open ever! Treat stuff like Inspector Gadget. Destroy that letter after its read. Otherwise get a lawyer because trial starts soon. Rule#9:2 Month Minimum Policy. If a girl exceeds $100 or 2 months, which ever comes 1st, it is time to cancel. If you haven't gotten the chick into bed within 2 months of your first date then it's time to move on to another one. If it costs you over $100, or to break it down, the equivalent of 18.5 McDonald visits then it is also time to cancel. It is time to invest time and money elsewhere. Rule#10: Open Door Policy: Never slam a door on past, present, or future ass. Always be open for the return of them to you. Keep things in good standing with them. If you break up have it be because you need time to think about what you want. Always end a relationship as friends. Sorry no joke for this paragraph. Ok, here is one. You may have left something at her place you didn't realize. |